Feeling burnt out from having too much on your plate? 
Are there people who need you constantly—whether at work or in your family? 
Trust me, you’re not alone. 

Setting boundaries can be hard, and taking time for self-care can feel next to impossible when time is short. It can feel like pushing through is the only option, hoping the universe will eventually hand you a break.

Today, I want to share a few reminders to help you create more peace and acceptance in your life right now. Let's make space for what truly matters—starting with you.

Ready to ease your anxiety and set kind, loving boundaries, so you can prioritize yourself without guilt?  
Click here to schedule your FREE 1:1 Stress Relief Coaching Session 

Chat with me on Instagram @Mrs.Hard_TimesNoMore

Find your peace Mrs-Hard.com

In this episode, I’m joined by my dear friend and office roommate, Jodi, who has been a massage therapist for almost 20 years and is also a dedicated yoga teacher. Jodi shares her wisdom on how yoga and massage therapy can help us become more present in our lives, relieve stress, and cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves. Tune in to learn more about how tuning into your breath, body, and mind can support your well-being and lead to a calmer, more balanced life.

We also talk about our upcoming Awaken Retreat with Dr. Debbie Victoria-Seale, happening on Saturday, October 5th, from 1-5 PM in downtown Napa. This half-day retreat is designed to help you rest, restore, and rejuvenate with a restorative yoga practice, guided meditation, and tools for grounding your energy.

You'll hear about:

1. Yoga as a Path to the Present Moment: 
   Jodi emphasizes the power of yoga in helping you stay connected to the present. By tuning into your breath and body during yoga postures, you learn how to release stress and anxiety, fostering a greater sense of inner peace.

2. The Synergy of Yoga and Massage: 
   With nearly two decades of experience as a massage therapist, Jodi discusses how understanding the body through massage deepens her yoga teaching. She talks about how combining both practices helps people release tension, strengthen their bodies, and feel more connected to themselves.

3. Meeting Your Body Where It’s At: 
   Jodi highlights the importance of honoring your body’s current state without judgment. In both yoga and life, meeting yourself with compassion can reduce stress and lead to more meaningful self-care.

4. The Benefits of Restorative Yoga: 
   Restorative yoga, which Jodi will be teaching at the Awaken Retreat, is a deeply grounding practice that helps calm anxiety and promotes relaxation. Jodi shares how this slower, more supported style of yoga allows your body to open and heal in its own time.

5. Awaken Retreat: 
   We talk about the upcoming Awaken Retreat on October 5th. Participants will experience a rest-focused workshop, guided meditation, a 45-minute restorative yoga session with Jodi, and an energy-grounding class with Dr. Debbie. It’s the perfect opportunity to reconnect with yourself, reduce stress, and rejuvenate your soul. Click Here To Sign Up!

In this episode, Allesanda Tolomei-Hard, a.k.a. Mrs. Hard, is joined by Dr. Debbie Victoria-Seale, an intuitive healer and holistic chiropractor. Together, they explore the powerful connection between your physical and spiritual selves, offering insights into how you can navigate the chaos of everyday life with greater calm and clarity.

Dr. Debbie shares her expertise on the importance of grounding and resetting your energy systems, especially during times of heightened stress and uncertainty. She explains how running your energy can help shift your body from a state of fight-or-flight to one of rest and digest, promoting both physical and spiritual well-being.

You will learn practical tools for incorporating moments of mindfulness and energy work into your daily routine, even if you have a jamp-packed busy schedule, causing stress and anxiety. 

Dr. Debbie and Allesanda also discuss the significance of tuning into your body's needs and honoring the natural rhythms of life, particularly as we get ready to transition into the slower, more reflective season of fall.

Join Allesanda Tolomei-Hard, a.k.a. Mrs. Hard, as she explores the transformative power of embracing your worthiness and living a life of joy. If you’ve ever struggled with self-worth or found yourself waiting for external circumstances to change before you allow yourself to experience happiness, this episode is for you. 

Mrs. Hard shares her personal stories, practical insights, and powerful techniques to help you rewire your brain and cultivate a deep sense of worthiness and joy in your life, regardless of external situations.

Episode Highlights:
>> The Power of Worthiness:
   - We’ll discusses the concept of inherent worthiness as a birthright.

   - How believing in your worthiness can completely transform your life and relationships.

>> Identifying Limiting Beliefs:
   - Explore how subconscious agreements formed during childhood influence your self-worth.

   - Mrs. Hard shares personal experiences of how her upbringing and societal expectations shaped her self-worth and how she overcame these limiting beliefs.

>> The Journey to Joy and Worthiness:
  - The process of shifting from external validation to internal fulfillment.

   - Understanding the "seesaw" analogy: balancing discomfort and fear of change to move toward a more fulfilling life.

   - Practical steps to break free from old patterns and embrace joy in everyday life.

>> Rewiring the Brain for Joy:
   - Introduction to the Recticular Activating System (RAS) and how it influences focus and perception.

   - Techniques for tuning your RAS into joy, gratitude, and worthiness through daily practices.

   - The importance of falling in love with the process of personal growth and self-discovery.

In this impactful episode, host Allesanda Tolomei-Hard, a.k.a. Mrs. Hard, explores a simple yet powerful approach to managing stressful relationships with grace and compassion. This episode is particularly beneficial for anyone dealing with challenging relationships, whether they are familial, romantic, or professional.

We are going to talk about...

• How detachment doesn't mean disconnecting but maintaining healthy boundaries while caring for oneself.

• Exploring the concept of loving detachment and its importance in reducing stress and improving well-being.

• The common signs indicating a need for detachment, such as obsessing over others' needs and feeling under-appreciated.

• How to recognize when you might benefit from practicing detachment in your relationships.

I also share about my personal journey with my father and how our relationship shifted from chaotic to peaceful once I set loving boundaries. 

And to help you start implementing these concepts, I will guide you through a soothing meditation exercise. This meditation is designed to promote peace of mind and reduce stress in relationships and can be practiced anytime, anywhere.

In 2016, I had a wild adventure on the Pacific Crest Trail that led me to start my own business. I elaborate on this unexpected event in this podcast episode.

The short story is that burnout from pushing too hard on the trail ultimately led me to start my first business as a massage therapist.

Being in business has brought up many parts of myself that have been hard to look at: anxiety, perfectionism, self-worth issues, codependence, and other unexpected challenges.

Though it’s been a journey, working through these issues has enhanced my relationship with myself, allowed me to care for others without sacrificing my own needs, and taught me not to place my worth on the success or challenges of my business or the well-being of others.

To be honest, these issues still come up from time to time.

As I’m writing this email, I just finished an impromptu coffee date with Lisa, a facilitator at the EmpowerHer workshop last Sunday, and took a nap in my office. I was feeling uninspired and a bit tired, and I had a 3-hour break before my next client. There was a time in my business when my schedule was so full that I didn’t have room to breathe, to be flexible, and to wander around Jefferies General. I would have been too worried about getting it all done and doing it perfectly to allow myself to take my mind off of my to-do’s and rest to reset and reignite my inspiration.

But not today, and that is thanks to the internal work that my business pushed me to do.

So, if you are a business owner, entrepreneur, caregiver, or simply the woman who does it all for everyone, you will find this episode valuable.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

>> How managing anxiety can be challenging, especially when it comes to balancing your business (caring for others) and personal life.

>> The importance of creating healthy boundaries, practicing detachment, and bringing in some good self-care—practices that are essential for a balanced and fulfilling life.

>> Embracing your self-worth and cultivating the confidence needed to shine in all areas of your life. Including how to get inspired when you are in a funk and feel empowered to make time for more joy.

Plus, I’ll share some effective stress-relief practices to help you find calm amidst the chaos.

Tune in to learn how to transform your anxiety into confidence and live a more balanced life.

I’m super excited to have my good friend, business collaborator, and photographer, Lisa Fonville, on the show today.

Lisa is much more than just a photographer and branding expert—she creates soulful art through deep connections with her clients. Her ability to capture their true essence comes from the journey she undertakes with them before they even step in front of the camera.

In this episode, we talk about:

- What Lisa, as a branding expert, sees women struggling with the most when it comes to self-promotion.

-The secret to keeping your creative fire burning bright while creating a healthier work-life balance.

- Reducing work-related stress, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome, while reminding you that all entrepreneurs feel these feelings, no matter how successful they may appear.

AND SO MUCH MORE!!!

This conversation is especially important for caregivers and female entrepreneurs because having a business is like being in a relationship. If you tend to struggle with boundaries when caring for others, maintaining a healthy relationship with your business can be challenging.

During this conversation we chat about practical tips you can use to nurture your relationship with your biz so that you experience more of the joy and freedom you signed up for when your business was just a dream.

Join us for a soulful conversation:

Don't miss out on our upcoming EmpowerHer High Tea event on July 21st. It’s a wonderful opportunity to connect, learn, and grow with fellow female entrepreneurs. Click here to sign up!

If you have ever struggled with meditation, this is for YOU!

Sitting with your thoughts can be hard, and some people believe meditation is all about having a clear, thoughtless mind, in a totally serene environment, and feeling totally at peace within.

From my experience, that idea is a little unrealistic. Sometimes a meditation session is peaceful, but more often, your mind is all over the place, telling you not to forget to call your client back or reminding you of the GIANT list of to-dos waiting for you. Your mind tells you there definitely isn’t enough time in your day to get them all done, so why are you wasting time sitting here when you really don’t need to be meditating?

But here’s the thing: when you let go of meditation needing to be perfect and just make time for yourself, even if it’s just 5 minutes, the benefits are HUGE!

Meditation is a powerful tool that can help you reconnect with yourself, reduce anxiety, and improve your overall well-being. It’s a practice that brings your attention inward, helping you find a sense of peace and balance, no matter what’s happening around you. Even if your mind is busy during meditation, you will feel calmer afterward because you took the space to practice the art of pause, to practice letting the to-do list go, tuning into your breath, or listening to a guided meditation to go on a little spiritual adventure.

If you are like me, you like a little variety in life, so in my latest podcast episode, "Transformative Meditation Techniques for Stress Relief," we are going to explore different types of techniques and dive into why meditation works to reduce stress and how it can be a powerful tool for anxiety relief.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

>> Easy-peasy meditation practices that fit seamlessly into your busy schedule—offering immediate tools for stress relief and emotional balance.

>> How meditation can enhance your mental clarity, emotional stability, and overall physical health.

>> The connection between meditation and better sleep.

>> Think you need a quiet mind to meditate? Tune in to learn how to practice mindfulness even amidst life's chaos.

In this podcast episode, "Secrets of Managing Anxiety for Caregivers," I’m going to reveal some lesser-known tips for managing anxiety that come with being a caregiver. We’ll talk about:

- How to Release Feelings of Overwhelm and Care for Yourself While Helping Others

- Why Your Anxiety Might Not Be What You Think

- The Hidden Causes of Caregiver Anxiety and How to Overcome Them

And BONUS! I’m going to share a special anxiety relief practice at the end of the episode.

I’ll say it a million times: taking care of yourself is the best way to support others. Like we’ve talked about, it’s like the airplane analogy: put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. When you prioritize your well-being, you enhance your ability to care for those around you.

Join me in this episode as we discover how small, simple shifts (like the way you feel about your anxiety) can create significant changes in your life as a caregiver without needing to do more.

Have you ever wondered if the energy you're putting into your relationships is actually helpful, or if it's just making you the one they always rely on?

If your answer is “YES!”, I’ve got a treat for you this week—a special “BEST OF" podcast episode!

Here's why you won't want to miss it:

- Learn how to notice and change enabling patterns in your relationships for more peace, energy, and patience.

- Discover the key differences between enabling and helping—because that line can be a little blurry.

- Find out how you can be kind and helpful without being a doormat.

- Hear essential questions you must consider to keep yourself out of the enabling zone.

- Shift your behavior for better self-care while still building loving and caring relationships.

- Explore why it's kind to let yourself off the hook while empowering others to help themselves instead of always being the one they rely on.

Remember, changing a relationship starts with just one person—YOU.

So, tune in, and let's build healthy, joyful relationships and say goodbye to enabling for good!

This world has been feeling a bit chaotic lately, and it’s understandable if you’ve been overwhelmed.

I’m right there with you.

That’s why I have asked Dr. Debbie Victoria Seale, chiropractor and clairvoyant, to join me on the podcast this week to talk about anxiety and stress relief during these challenging times.

Listen to...

Receive a healing for anxiety from Dr. Debbie.

Discover how to heal yourself and help others.

Understand what to do when you feel hurt or under pressure.

Get a guided heart connection meditation from Mrs. Hard.

We want to help you call in that good, good calm energy.

When you invest in your well-being and focus on your healing journey, you help heal the planet. Remember, we are all interconnected.

In this episode, we're diving deep into a transformative meditative practice (it’s not quite a meditation but has similar vibes) designed to help you call in abundance and release stress and chaos.

Because lately, things have been a bit crazy for myself and so many people I know. Mercury is almost out of retrograde but its impact is still lingering, and this may or may not have created a larger IRS bill for you than you expected, car trouble, your health insurance to end suddenly, a sprained ankle, your dog or cat to have some health problems, and the list goes on.

You may be feeling like it’s just been one thing after another.

It's essential to have tools to lean on to navigate these life storms. So that is what this podcast episode is all about.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

- How to find stability in the chaos and call in more energy when you are overwhelmed.

- The most important, single, actionable step you should take to create more stability in your life RIGHT NOW.

- Simple ways to lean into uncertainty and deepen your relationship with your higher power, cultivating trust in the universe's plan for you.

- How shifting your focus can ignite a ripple effect of abundance in your life, paving the way for profound transformation during tough times.

So, get ready to step into a world of abundance and call in health, wealth, and more energy through this transformative meditative practice.

In this episode, I'm switching things up a bit by sharing something special with you.

I've had a few requests for it, so I'm excited to introduce a guided meditation session aimed at helping you build a stronger, more trusting relationship with yourself.

This meditation isn't your typical podcast episode; it's a journey towards boosting resilience and finding inner peace amidst life's ups and downs. By practicing this meditation, you'll tap into a wellspring of strength and optimism that can infuse your daily life with a sense of calmness.

And speaking of empowerment, I'm thrilled to announce the upcoming How To Be Your Own Best Friend Workshop, happening on Sunday, April 14th, 2024, right here in Napa, CA. This workshop is all about exploring the transformative power of mindfulness and meditation, all while fostering a deep friendship with yourself.

Now, you might be wondering who this workshop is for. Well, it's designed with people who struggle with people-pleasing and perfectionism in mind. If you find yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own or striving for unattainable standards of perfection, this workshop is tailor-made for you.

So, don't forget to mark April 14th on your calendar, and be sure to visit my website or Instagram for all the registration details. I can't wait to embark on this journey of self-discovery with you!

Tell me, have you ever found yourself in these situations?

Have you ever made a commitment to cut back on sweets or alcohol, only to end up bingeing late at night and feeling guilty the next day?

Have you ever strayed from your health plan mid-day, thinking, 'I'll start fresh tomorrow,' instead of forgiving yourself and moving forward?

Have you ever ghosted someone in a relationship because things were going too well, and you were afraid of getting hurt? Or felt like you were 'too much' in a relationship, overdoing communication out of insecurity?

If any of this resonates with you, you're not alone.

In this week's podcast episode, 'Overcoming Self-Sabotage: The REAL Reasons You Feel Stuck,' we're delving into the invisible roadblocks that are hindering your confidence, goals, and relationships.

In this episode, you'll learn:

>>> The biggest mistake people make when chasing their goals.

Have you ever felt fired up at the start, only to lose momentum before reaching the finish line? Find out why.

>>> How perfectionism hinders your progress.

Your inner critic tends to see things in black and white, making it easy to abandon progress after a single mistake.

>>> Why people-pleasing complicates habit changes.

It's not just about your discomfort; you may worry about others' reactions. Prioritizing their needs over your own makes it hard to stick to positive changes.

>>> Practical tips for confident decision-making and boosting self-confidence, so you can create the life you desire inside and out.

And stay tuned until the end for a special offer that will help you bid farewell to people-pleasing and perfectionism for good.

Let’s talk about the raw challenges of stepmom life, the REAL secret to having a perfect body, and the battle with perfectionism.

This week on the Hard Times No More Relationship Podcast, I have my good friend and personal trainer Laisha Ames on the show.

Laisha's not just a personal trainer—she's also a stepmom extraordinaire and a pro at helping women tackle body image issues, perfectionism, and the juggling act of self-care.

Join us as we take a deep dive into the raw challenges of stepmom life, what it really means to have a perfect body, the balance between active stress relief and reflective stillness, and the internal battle with perfectionism.

This is a BIG topic for myself and all women trying to find the balance between caring for others and caring for ourselves, and Laisha is the best personal trainer because of her approach.

She’s real.

She understands that no one has the perfect life or the perfect family. We all have our struggles, and we are all doing the best we can with what we’ve got.

She knows the importance of community—reminding us that we are all on this fitness journey together.

And she has the experience and knowledge to help you reach your fitness goals, even from the comfort of your home!

Her mission is to help people truly feel good about themselves so that they can look in the mirror and love what they see.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

- Practical tips for handling challenging relationships with bio parents in blended families.

- Actionable steps to kick perfectionism to the curb and embrace your unique journey.

- The secret to loving the skin you are in and the tools that will get you there.

- Why caring for your mental health is far more important than any number on the scale.

- Laisha's game-changing virtual fitness program, designed to fit seamlessly into your busy life.

And so much more!

Tell me, do you ever catch yourself saying "YES" when you really want to shout “NO WAY!” And run in the opposite direction because someone has asked you to take on ANOTHER COMMITMENT or help them out, and your plate is already beyond full?

But you can’t bear to say “no,” even though you know you should.

…You don’t want to let them down.

Or

…You know it will just be easier if you do it.

And, once again, someone else’s needs make it to the top of your priority list.

Well, guess what?

You might just be a people-pleaser, and this is probably no surprise to you.

In this week’s podcast episode, we're diving into this whole people-pleasing thing.

We're getting real and talking about why the people-pleasing cycle happens over and over again, how it's messing with your life (in more ways than you realize), and most importantly, how the heck to stop for good.

In this episode, you’ll hear…

>>> Effective ways to stop covering up your true feelings or agreeing to stuff you don't have the time for and don’t even want to do.

>>> The key reasons why you're always putting everyone else’s needs first.

>>> How to let go of guilt, without needing to say “yes” all the time, with some seriously simple strategies to help you set those boundaries, honor your own needs, and start loving yourself a little more.

>>> The fine line between generosity and healthy compromise versus straight-up people-pleasing. It's all about finding that sweet spot where you're taking care of yourself while still being there for others.

So if you’re ready to take back control of your time, your energy, and your freakin' life, then buckle up 'cause it's time to kick people-pleasing to the curb and start living your life on your terms.

It’s easy to get caught up in showing love to others.

But what about you?

I’m not a mind reader, but there’s a good chance you're a natural giver, spreading love and support throughout the year.

But amidst all that giving, are you taking time to show yourself some love too?

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, this podcast episode is all about self-love—made just for you to help you cultivate a deeper connection with yourself so you can feel as amazing as you are!

And… You wanna know the biggest robber of self-love that I see clients struggle with?

Perfectionism.

Perfectionism might be getting in the way of your self-love journey and the incredible impact that strengthening your relationship with yourself can have on your life.

By practicing more self-love, you will naturally surround yourself with supportive, loving people because, remember—others are a reflection, a mirror, and you attract what you put out into the universe.

So, if you're ready to level up your self-love and break down the barriers keeping you from fully loving yourself, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

- 5 simple, actionable ways to practice self-love.

- How seeking external validation can lead to unhealthy patterns like people-pleasing.

- The transformative power of changing your relationship with yourself.

- Journaling prompts to guide you on your self-love journey.

- The damaging effects of perfectionism on your relationships.

- How a loving connection with yourself can bring more peace and joy into your daily life.

So go ahead, give yourself the gift of self-love.

You deserve it!

Do you have a family member who triggers you?

Or unresolved tension with your significant other?

If the answer is “YES!” this episode is for you.

In this podcast episode, Detaching With Love: Navigating Stressful Family Relationships, you’ll learn a simple and powerful approach to navigating hard times in your relationships with grace.

ANNDD at the end of this episode, I’ll guide you through a short exercise you can use TODAY to create energetic boundaries with anyone who causes you stress so you’ll be equipped to feel less drained after spending time with them.

If you're like many of the people I’ve worked with, maintaining peace in your relationships is almost as important as the air you breathe. And you may find yourself sacrificing your needs and well-being to preserve the peace because you just want others to be happy (or it’s just easier that way.)

This can lead to a habit of bottling up stress, feeling fatigued from interactions that repeatedly don’t go well, and believing change isn’t possible because the other person isn’t willing to do “the work.”

You may not believe it… But in my experience, it is possible to detach in a way that helps your relationship grow rather than creating harm or more tension.

This can happen through the practice of detachment.

Detachment often gets a bad rap for sounding final and cold but, in this episode, you’ll discover how to use detachment to heal unhealthy relationship patterns because sometimes you have to take a step back to get some clarity and gain two steps forward toward progress.

It’s time to reclaim your energy by establishing kind and loving boundaries that lead to more fulfilling relationships.

Tune in to call in more peace of mind!

Do you ever struggle with that uncomfortable feeling—the kind that refuses to let you take a relaxing deep breath?

This week on The Hard Times No More Relationship Podcast, we're diving into a topic that affects more than 20% of people in the U.S.: Anxiety.

Your Inner Ecosystem: Anxiety is a symptom on the surface of something much deeper. Find out why anxiety sticks around and how you can embark on the journey to lasting relief because, trust me, I’ve been there.

In this episode, I open up about my journey with anxiety, sharing personal experiences, strategies, and the importance of internal work.

We’ll also talk about…

>>> Understanding the message behind your anxiety.

>>> The secret to creating a non-anxious life.

>>> Where to focus your energy to create the right conditions for healing.

From healing emotional wounds to finding peace within, we cover it all.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Many have found peace and a deeper connection with themselves through these practices.

Have you ever made a New Year's resolution and found yourself overwhelmed and feeling like a failure on February 1st?

You started excited with a lot of momentum, but things got hard, and your inner critic told you, “You don’t have the time, the money, or the energy, so you might as well quit now.” You gave up and reverted to your old ways, feeling stuck in your patterns, even though your heart desired change.

Instead, on December 31st, 2024, imagine yourself reflecting over the past year… You not only met your goals but exceeded them.

Along the way, you found fulfillment and a deeper connection with yourself. Imagine feeling confident in your ability to accomplish whatever you put your mind to.

In this episode, I will show you…

>> The secret sauce to following through with your goals (whether it’s to have joyful visits with your mother or to stop binge eating cookies after a stressful day.)

>> The hidden reasons behind failure—why real, lasting change is so hard.

>> How to build a truly fulfilling life, one goal at a time.

Whether it's a New Year's resolution to slow down, time to prioritize your needs, or a vow to declutter your house Marie Kondo style (asking yourself if each item sparks joy), Mrs. Hard's got your back.